What Happens When We Actually Listen?

Exclusively for YMSL moms! An honest reflection on a recent conversation with moms and college students as part of GapWell's partnership with Young Men's Service League.

Guest blog post by Beth Segaloff, LCSW, founder of Tree of Life Center and creator of Life School 360.

Last week I co-led a conversation that I haven't stopped thinking about.

As part of GapWell's programming with the Young Men's Service League (YMSL), I sat down with Miles Kessler and Sandoh Ahmadu: a college senior and a recent college graduate for an honest conversation about the transition from high school into whatever comes next.

I interviewed them. Then they turned the tables and interviewed me. 

The YMSL moms were there, listening and I found myself wondering...

• What resonated with them?

• What were they recognizing in their own experience as they listened to these two young men speak so openly?

Because what Miles and Sandoh shared was generous and real. The excitement, yes, but also the pressure, the nervousness, the things they wished their parents had known. It gave me a lot to sit with too.

Listening to them, I kept thinking about the moms and their kids.

About how much they are holding right now: pride, anticipation, anxiety, and a quiet shift that doesn't always have a name.

This transition asks something delicate of us as parents: to stay tethered while also letting go. To be present and connected without holding too tight. To celebrate what's coming while also grieving what's shifting. That balance isn't easy. And it doesn't happen automatically — it takes awareness, intention, and honestly, a little support.

What strikes me is that while this topic seems to be everywhere right now: on the sidelines, in the Facebook groups, in quick conversations walking the dog but so much of it stays surface level. Because there isn't always a space to go deeper. To sit with the uncertainty. To say out loud what you're actually feeling without having to wrap it up neatly.

That's why coming together in community matters so much. There is something quietly powerful about being in a room even a virtual one with other people navigating the same season.

It can feel like a relief just to be seen and understood. To hear someone else say what you've been feeling but haven't quite found the words for yet.

Listening to Miles and Sandoh reminded me of that. Their honesty and openness was a gift and it deepened my own thinking about how to best support the moms who are walking alongside their kids right now.

Being present through this transition, really present, not just managing the logistics, is one of the most meaningful things we can do. For our kids and for ourselves.

What's coming next for YMSL moms?

That conversation is growing into something I'm excited to share.

This spring and summer I'll be leading Navigating the Transition: a 4-week small group series for YMSL moms through GapWell.

A real space to go deeper, talk honestly, and navigate this season together: with warmth, humor, and a lot of heart.

Three cohorts available: Wednesdays in May, June, and July.

Learn more and register HERE.